Today is our 10th Anniversary. As I look back at the last five months I have never depended on my husband more so than this year. Four deployments and 2 children made us strong. But the last 5 months have made us even stronger. I remember when I was graduating college, single and moving to NYC just for the heck of it. I was not necessarily looking for my husband, but as time went on I did began praying for a godly man. I thought I would meet someone in New York that wore metro clothing and was a bit of a foodie. When Mike came to NYC to see me after our first date, he wore his “Got Spam?” t-shirt, which encompassed his sense of style and food all wrapped into one. He talked about farts on day 3 of dating. I made baked pasta and an apple pie and he tells me now that was “The ONE dinner.” As in she’s “the one.” Looking back I had no idea who we would become individually and as a couple. I am so grateful God knows, he sees. He sees your future and who and what you will need. I have needed Mike more than I ever had before, for my physical, emotional, and psychological health. He has been there each and every beautiful ugly time, building me up, encouraging me, and making me laugh. Our relationship is now stronger than ever and I put together some notes on why I think that is.
Things that make us work… 1) We read God’s word and seek his wisdom. Mike reads his bible daily, and I am getting better. We seek God’s wisdom thru his word and prayer, for every major decision, concern etc. I think this is our greatest success, and what keeps us going. This is also what has kept us strong during deployments and cancer. 2) We talk. A lot. We talk about everything. Kids, parenting, goals, failures, money, friends, our future, Christianity, our families, business, world problems, planning, and the list could go on. I think because we dated long distance our relationship was built on talking, not to mention those pesky 4 deployments. It has built our relationship on communication. I think for this reason we hardly argue. If you’re wondering how we have time to talk so much, I’m glad you asked. 3) We don’t watch TV on a regular basis (ok, ok our fall back is DVDs of the old Magnum P.I. seasons, and then of course The Great British Bake-off). Parrtaayy over here, let me tell you. Mike dislikes TV. He would throw it away tomorrow if I agreed. So because of this we don’t watch very much. And as a result, we have more time to talk to each other, grow in our relationship, plan, parent etc. 4) We tag team. He needs a break or I do. We take care of each other when we need respite from kids/parenting. We can see when the other is at a tipping point, and take over for the other. I cook, he washes the dishes. We trade naps on the weekends. You get the idea. 5) We have fun. Mike’s nickname at work is “Loco.” Can I get an amen? Sometimes when people ask me how many kids I have I say, “3. They’re 39, 6 and 2.” I need it though. I am a people pleasing rule follower, so it is good for me to have some crazy spontaneity in my life. Mike chills me out. It also makes for a really fun dad. Husband Recommendations (in case you’re looking): -Someone who takes charge. Mike is a planner, so am I. But there is a difference between planning and leading the plan. Mike does both. I realize everyone is not a planner, which is not always a bad thing. My point here is you need someone to make final decisions, and guide your family in the direction you feel God leading you. Since January he has documented every doctor apt, and kept a log of my symptoms and medications, and paid all the medical bills. It has made me feel relieved so often, that I don’t have to do it all. -Someone who has got your back. Obviously, it’s nice to have someone to protect you and make you feel safe (in the words of Mr. T, “I pity the fool” who tries to break into our house). Protection comes in many forms. Mike reads the cancer research and then translates it for me so I don’t get emotional. Let’s not forget parenting. Shout out to all you military mamas out there who parent night and day on your own. Mike has backed me up so many times when I was in the trenches alone. It has made me feel safe, seen and heard. -Someone who challenges you. There are so many things I wouldn’t know how to do if it weren’t for Mike (i.e. translate navy acronym-ese). I would be in some level of debt if it weren’t for him. I like Dim Sum. Find someone who challenges your thinking, gives you fresh ideas and shows you a way of life from a different perspective. It makes be feel like I’m constantly learning. -Someone who calls you out. Honesty is a rare gift these days. I can go to Mike, explain a situation and he will tell me if I’m legitimate in my feelings, or need to get over it. He can tell me to go take a, “mommy time-out.” It makes me feel like I have a best friend. -Someone who tells you “You are Beautiful.” So here’s the thing. I am not a ‘girly-girl’ who wears fashion-ista clothes and lots of make-up. I generally put on sunscreen, blush and mascara and call it a day. However, when you are too thin, bald, pail, throwing up, exhausted and can barely eat AND still he tells me I’m beautiful. There’s something to be said for that. It makes me feel beautiful. -Someone who makes you laugh. Not a chuckle. Like a “can’t breathe” belly type laugh. I have a slight reputation for what has become known as “bursting.” This is when you are taking a drink of something and then someone makes you laugh and then your drink comes back out. Mike has accomplished this on a several occasions. It makes me feel silly, and lighthearted. Much Aloha~Nikki
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Mike announced today that I am 33% done. Then he corrected himself and said "well actually 33.33333%." #livingwithamathman I met a woman on my street last night who saw me and asked if I was going thru chemo. She stopped and hugged me. Come to find out she ended her treatment at treatment a year ago at Tripler. She said she cried on her last day because she was going to miss the community there. This morning I wasn't looking forward to going. However, after arriving and chatting with friendly faces, I settled into my routine. Paul says in Philippians 1:3 he says he thanks God every times he remembers the people at the church. I should be no different. I should be so grateful for my time in the chair. To be with the nurses and doctors, as well as the patients. It is our golden opportunity to share our story of joy, hope, and grace. It is hard to believe but one day I will miss them all.
What I Know God is Good My eyebrows fell out...wahhh If you get to the Starbucks at Tripler you may not make it back #lostinthepinkhospital What made today feel normal Allie made a sock sling shot out of my yoga mat strap What I am Reading Girl Meets Change-Kristen Strong (How we respond to change God's way) Eating on the Wild Side- Jo Robinson (this book is a game changer in how we buy, prepare, store and cook fruit and veggies to maximize their nutrients) #imbecomingafoodnerd Praises Chemo went well today, mom got to come with me today Good appetite Prayer Requests I am having trouble sleeping the night of chemo Continued on and off tummy troubles I have a little cold Shout Out Vanessa for wonderful meal tonight Aloha Much aloha~Nikki 1. We are officially in "beat the heat" mode over here so our dinners are often make and take to the beach. #cobbtogo
2. Chemo room has lots of flair like this pink cup holder... 3. Woke up to rain yesterday and I could almost feel this rainbow before I looked...the biggest and brightest one we've had in the front yard. God is good. We saw another one today, rainbow streak two days in a row! Its Mikey here....sorry its been a while, but suffice to say things have been going overwhelmingly well. I'm sitting here in the chemo room, saying hi to all the familiar faces both who work here and that are receiving treatment. In a wierd way there is a certain solace from being here with Nikki. But that peace we feel is much deeper than being thru the worst of the chemo, its not just because we had a great trip to California, it doesnt stem from our current circumstances at all.....The peace we feel is from knowing that God is an all powerful God and has taken us thru an incredible series of storms. We are eager to look for opportunities to share this peace with others, it would be a shame to keep this gift to ourselves.
What I Know God is Good Nikki's body continues to get stronger I am an expert at the art of "sharking"....slowly moving thru the parking lot, searching for people going to their car, and pouncing when they leave. By the way, the universal sign for "thats my parking spot" is getting your signal on first, I'm always first to the signal. The saddest sight in the world is a bunch of fallen mangoes on the side of the road, they never had a chance to be chilled and eaten.#rescuefallenmangoes What made today feel normal Here's what a normal chemo day looks like..... 0530 Mikey workout 0615 Allie already done with her second helping of breakfast and bored 0645 Daniel woken up "Hi mommy" #happymorningboy 0700 Pray as a family, put on our "Team Nikki shirts", and depart 0730 Follow the parade of cars on their way to Tripler Hospital 0740 Search for a good parking spot .... Today we got one in the shade right next to the hospital, SCORE! 0745 Check-in and get vitals, same friendly Korean lady every time Kam Sam Ni Da 0800-1100: Blood test, hydration, pre-meds, chemo....sometime in that span Nikki gets zonked out 1100: walk back to car....Nikki takes a nap Praises Our friend w/ Breast Cancer received EXCELLENT news from her surgeon Tummy feeling better (no dairy helped) Beautiful beaches to eat our dinner on Prayer Requests Pray for energy during the summer with kids at home Shout Out Flowers from Doug Grammy for continuing to be super supportive Aloha We're so thankful for everyone's continued support, this is truly a team effort Hey hey! Happy Father's Day! I know what all you dad woke up craving this morning...spam, eggs and rice (see photo). Right?! That's what we cooked up this morning. We also headed to the north shore today after church. Stopped at a fruit stand and played corn hole at the Red Barn Farm Stand in Haleiwa. A big shout out today to our daddy Mike, who has taken on his role as Superdad to a whole new level this year. We are grateful for your steadfast devotion to us, your humor and hard work. We love you! Well they told me the steroid could make for some difficulty sleeping, so here I am at 11:25 at night. It was either that or the 2 hour post chemo nap. Or both. Today was #11 chemo day. I had originally started counting upward but have since decided counting down is better psychologically. So I have ten more to go. I am again doing well today. I am excited to share with you the article below of my nurses and Doctor. Dr. Berenberg is one of the doctors mentioned in the article, he is my doctor. I read this article in the chemo room today and saw it mentioned a chemo support group, which I had not heard of. So I asked nurse Josh, and he introduced me to another mama in the room who goes to the group. Long story short I am going to try and make their meeting tomorrow at 10 am. I haven't searched out a support group thus far because my cancer team headed by Mike, Allie & Daniel my "Family Ladies," parents, family near and far, my small group, MOMs group, church family and ALL of you have been my support groups. But this one is specific to breast cancer and they are all in military or spouses of military which makes for a unique lot. So as for now I am joining the "Ta Ta Sisters of TAMC" #eyeroll (TAMC is acronym for the hospital).
What I Know God is Good These are my nurses in the photo of this article! From the back Josh, Abby, Cindy and Jacqui #dontmesswithher They are all amazing!!https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.army.mil/article-amp/188654/tripler_celebrates_cancer_survivors What made today feel normal Allie wanted to make a necklace out of my beads as I'm headed out the door to chemo at 7:48am #hertimingisoff VBS is in full swing with Mike as a carpenter named "Apollo." Praises Teeth/gums are doing better I am not losing weight like I did sometimes with the first 4 rounds I am able to memorize more and more scripture. Deut 31:8 Phil 4:4-8 Isaiah 40: 28-31 Psalms 23, 100 and 121 Mike and I talked to 3 new friends in the chemo room today. We are blessed to already share with others just starting their BCancer journey Prayer Requests Minor tummy issues, after talking with Dr. B about this I am going to see a specialist for extra help Prayers for me to be able to work out what to eat during the remainder of chemo. I want to get enough calories but also be gentle on my tummy. Also, for self control not to eat food that will hurt my digestion. For my morning tomorrow, I haven't seen midnight in a while! Shout Out Julia for dinner tonight Kelly for Whole Foods gift card Chaplain Axtell for visiting me today and last time To all of you who texted me this week and today with prayers Aloha I thank you all again and again for your prayer, encouragement, messages, and emails. If I don't write sooner please be sure to tune in Sunday for my Father's Day edition. Much aloha~Nikki Aloha friday everyone. I am so amazed. I am doing really well. I am cautiously optimistic. Ha. Wednesday's chemo day was drawn out by lost lab results and now three separate IV pre medications before the chemo. The last of which made for a nice nap and I slept thru the chemo. Made it home for another nap. I didn't know what to expect when I woke up, but God really blessed me with little to no side effects. And taco salad for dinner. Two days later I am still doing well, and was able to help a friend today which made me feel so grateful because I miss it. The biggest blessing of the week (possibly can blame it on time change) is that I have been waking up early every morning and reading thru Psalms and practicing my memory verses. I feel so blessed!
What I Know God is Good The house is noisier with 2 kids in it What made today feel normal Watching Basketball playoffs Everyone is sweating, its hot Praises Sleeping and eating well Very few symptoms at this point Grammy and Allie made it to Hawaii safe Prayer Requests Symptoms are mild gum/tooth irritation Minor tummy issues Prayers for me to be able to work out what to eat during the remainder of chemo. I want to get enough calories but also be gentle on my tummy. Also, for self control not to eat food that will hurt my digestion. Shout Out Rebecca for dinner last night Shara for child care Wednesday Aloha Much aloha~Nikki Long time no post. We got back to Hawaii late Sunday evening, after our trip to CA. We were so blessed to see many of you. I can't thank you enough for your continued prayers and support. We had such a great time, I will be honest it was hard to come back. Tomorrow starts the 1st of 12 cycles of chemo lasting throughout the summer. Doctors have told me that this different drug is far less severe than what I've just finished. I am apprehensive, because I don't know what it will mean for me. I can only see a little of what God has done in the last 4-5 months, I know he has more good work planned. I'm dreading the process but excited to see more and more outcomes. I'm so glad you're journey-ing with me.
What I Know God is Good Tomorrow starts 1 of 12 weekly cycles of a new single chemotherapy drug My last chemo will be August 23rd Mike's roasted corn cobs are delicious What made today feel normal Trip to the bank, post office and grocery store Praises Trip to California was a huge blessing Flights to and from went well Overall have been feeling good Prayer Requests Prayers for less & easily manageable side effects during these 12 treatments Prayers I'll be able to enjoy summer with mom and kids Prayers for travel for Allie and Mom flying back to Hawaii on Friday Shout Out Juli for child care today Shara for child care tomorrow Mom, Laura and Mum for spoiling, oh I mean caring for Allie this week. Aloha Much aloha~Nikki We have had a wonderful and relaxing trip here in CA. We head back tomorrow. We are so grateful to see many of you. Here are some of our favorite pictures. Much aloha-Nikki |
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