Friends are friends forever if the Lord is the lord of them. Shout out to Michael W. Smith. Friends. They are in the trenches with you. The ones who come and vacuum the rugs and shampoo your girly’s hair when lice have hit the house (Shara & Sheila). The ones you’ve done life with. “Poop” friends. Mmm hmm. The ones you can ask to pray about poop; too much or not enough. I can count at least 5 friends I’ve asked to pray about my kids’ poop. They carry you thru endless deployments; laughing, crying, (sometimes cursing) and raising kids together. Then they move. Or you do. There is an imaginary placeholder in your heart for them, because they held your husband’s spot while he was gone. Knowing full well it won’t be the same again. I often imagine a reunion scenario where all of our schedules magically align and one by one we all see each other again, until there is an eruption of laughter and tears. Heaven on earth, or maybe just heaven. Start to think of all those faces you miss so dearly. Heaven will be just one big reunion.
I have had the blessing of making some of the most beautiful friends here on this island. They have held my family and I together the last 6 months. Not to mention all of you praying and sending rainbows. I want to encourage you today to work on your friendships. Seek someone out and I don’t mean on Facebook. Some of my greatest friendships have come from Mom’s bible studies, and our small groups in every place we’ve lived. Find people to connect with. It takes some work, and vulnerability. But when your version of cancer comes, you’ll want an army. Not one built on social media, and emojis but one of prayer warriors, willing to do anything you need or ask. One of the greatest privileges I have had this year is seeing what it looks like when God’s people move. It is nothing short of a miracle. The other day my friend’s name popped in my head, for no good reason. I’ve decided that when you think of someone for no good reason, it’s for a good reason. So I texted her and told her I was praying for her. So will you do something for me? Pick up that phone, and call someone. Get together. Invest in people, they might just need a rainbow.
1 Comment
A survivor came into the clinic today. He told all of us he had sat in those chairs and done what we were doing. He said it has been 3 years. As he was leaving he said, "I'll see you in 6 months." Wow. Today I was looking at the August calendar. It is pretty full. Allie starts 1st grade. I have 4 doctor appointments, 4 chemos, even a dental cleaning. Not going to the doctor for 6 months seems pretty foreign. But the end is coming. I'm planning my August 23rd outfit. I'll have to ask God for wisdom about what I'm going to do with myself come October. I'm sure he'll come up with something clever.
What I Know -God is Good -I won't forget my headphones to chemo next week. Some of the chairs have TV and I was deliriously sandwiched between Dr. Phil and The Price is Right. The latter was "better." -The Insta Pot is a game changer. I haven't had to make dinner in the oven in months. What You Can Do For Me On Sunday I shared on my new Facebook page about an idea I have. It is called Sunday Social Media Sabbath. I'm choosing not to go onto FB or Pinterest on Sundays. Several ladies joined me, and were rewarded by it. Please consider joining me this Sunday. In place of them I am giving time to the Lord, my family, friends and even meal planning for the week. What Made Yesterday Normal Daniel saw a bug in the back yard and said, "Wet's get out a here!" Praises Allie is enjoying my photography and likes to go on flower hunts with me. Very little neuropathy I've been able to share the blog and my new FaceBook page. Prayer Requests Sleep tonight ...last week was 2am Energy during the day (this is kind of silly) Prayers for clouds/wind...I am hot/sweaty on an off all day and night. Wind and clouds make the house cooler. Shout Out Juli for child care today, and Shara for yesterday Amanda for amazing dinner tonight Ashley W and Suzanne for dinner and cookies on Monday Aloha Much aloha~Nikki Now that I am feeling better, I am starting to write more. I signed up for a writing seminar online. Ironically, my writing time happening on Wednesdays after chemo when I can’t sleep. Maybe God gave me this time on purpose. I am reading more too. I appreciate all of you who are reading this blog and taking the time to comment and complement us. It has been such an outlet, one I never anticipated.
As I write, read and learn more, I’m eager to share my findings and experience with others. So I am hoping to start posting more than just on chemo days. It won’t be the same format as my usual posts, but on a specific topic. My three main themes will be:
This idea for this came from John 10:10 when Jesus says, “I have come that they may have life and life abundantly.” Make no mistake he’s not talking about a life free from pain. He’s talking about a life designed for you. Not one merely to exist, but to flourish. Also, I’ve made a Facebook page to share my ideas with more people. It is called, “Life Abundantly.” You might see an invite from me. Please feel free to share this page with others who may enjoy it. I have so many ideas already I am really excited! Today someone 'rang the bell' at chemo. In Navy SEAL language this means you quit. In chemo language it means it's your last treatment. A lady I met at the support group last month finished her chemo today. The nurses gave her a golden bell with a handle and when they took her port out then she rang the bell and all of us clapped and cheered. We've never experienced a bell ringing. I was asleep when she rang it so I was sort of jolted out of a sleep, but realized quickly what was happening. I have 5 treatments left. Five more times in the chair able to talk and bless others. As long as I stay on track my last treatment should be on August 23rd. So this means you have until then to find a bell. Cuz on August 23rd we are all going to ring one in celebration of my last treatment.* All you rainbow makers have been in this with me and you get to join in the fun. I can't wait. Psalm 31:24 "Be strong , and let your heart take courage, all you who wait for the Lord."
*Team guys are exempt from ringing bells, as this is culturally unexacceptable What I Know God is Good I will follow up with my Oncologist every 3 months after treatment ends We cleaned out our CD/DVDs. Wow. Got rid of so much. Try it. Daniel eats 75% of his food before lunch. He had oatmeal, toast, eggs and apple juice for breakfast (and stole some of Mike's yogurt). What Made Yesterday Normal Daniel didn't nap. When I got him up he said, "Daniel's awake go play water balloons." We played water balloons. Then he got upset because his clothes were wet. #twoandahalf Praises ~ I was able to fall asleep by midnight last week. Yea melatonin! ~ We were getting smoothies this week and a homeless man walked by us ranting about something in jibberish (he did mention he liked my hat). Allie was upset about him so we talked about it. As we were on the way home, she said "God still loves him." I couldn't help but tear up at this reminder. I told her how proud I was of her for telling me. Some days all the hard work of raising littles pays off in one sentence. ~My sweet friend Virginia had great scans and results from her oncologist yesterday. Praise Jesus! Prayer Requests Sleep tonight Parenting patience to finish out the summer Shout Out Laci for childcare Gardners for carpool Ashley W for dinner Aloha Much aloha~Nikki 1) A back bend on land is no longer challenging enough for Allie (thanks for holding the board Grammie)
2) British boy stole my tea 3) Niece Lucy wears pink on chemo Wednesdays #lucylu Soooo we are half way thru this section of chemo. 6 more sessions. When I went in for my first time of chemo, my nurse told me that my first and last would be the hardest. "My last?" I said. She said yes because it will finally be over and you won't really know what to do with yourself. Plus my time in the chemo corner will come to an end. Just like deployments, I am now allowing myself some excitement. One woman next to me today said she had two weeks off, and she couldn't believe how good she felt. "It will come," she said. My last treatment is August 23rd. I will have a few weeks off, then start 6 weeks of radiation. All of my treatments will be completed around late October. I was diagnosed on Jan 27th. So ten months. Praise God I didn't know it would take that long in the beginning! Mike says we are going to turn on Christmas music my last day of radiation, and I wouldn't be surprised if the tree goes up shortly after. #commanderchristmas Although the future is unknown (just like all of us) I am excited about God is going to do.
What I Know God is Good I'm becoming known for jumping in the pool next door with my clothes on I am loving learning more about food and nutrition Chemo clinic has free wifi #officespace What Made Today Normal Daniel refused to eat meatloaf for dinner, even after being bribed with a juice box Allie: "Mom, do you know that no man has ever walked on the Mars?" Me: That's right. Allie: "Daddy could be the first one to walk on Mars." Praises My cold is almost gone I had a good meeting with my doctor this week Prayer Requests Sleep tonight #tryingmelatonin Prayers against neuropathy (numbness in hands, feet) I have had very minor symptoms of this. Others I am talking to in the chemo room are having worsening neuropathy, which is causing them to delay and even cancel some cycles of their chemo. Prayers I can continue without this. Shout Out Shara for wonderful meal tonight Meredith & family for anniversary spoon Shelby for special card Liz and Shara for Costco trips Chaplain Lee for visit today Thanks Mom & Dad My mom Diane leaves Friday after being here 5 weeks. We are going to miss her. We just wanted to say a HUGE thank you to my parents for giving up this time so mom could be here to help. She’s now retired! We can’t thank you enough for washing, dressing, feeding, playing and helping Allie and Daniel. Also, thank you for all the help with cleaning, doing dishes and laundry (all while in some major heat/humidity). Some of you may know I had some “Drama-for-your-mama” back problems growing up. My mom was there helping me every time I needed it. This has been no different. Thank you. It has been so helpful. Also, thank you to my dad for holding down the home front, even while really sick early on in the trip. We are looking forward to celebrating with them again in late August when they return the week of my last chemo! Partay time!!! Aloha Much aloha~Nikki 7) Less time in the shower. #justbodywash
6) Less time out of the shower. I have no idea where my hairbrush is right now. It’s liberating. 5) It’s a money saver. No longer shopping for shampoo, conditioner, gel, spray, clips, and ties. No need for haircuts. 4) It’s easy. There’s no stressin over how to fix your hair in the morning, after swimming or for a night out. Messy or fancy it's all the same. 3) You can’t get lice. My archenemy lives on. Here I am being treated for breast cancer and lice are somehow still apart of this word. Driving moms absolutely nuts. My kids have gotten this twice already, which is enough for a lifetime (I wrote down my tips/products I use in case you’re interested, let me know). 2) It is waaayyyy cooler. God was winking at me when he orchestrated chemo for the summer and not the winter. And as we ladies assumed all along, boys have it easier. 1) You match babies and grandpas! (see photo) Mike and I were able to get away Friday/Saturday night (thanks Mom!) for our anniversary. We had such a relaxing time pretending to be tourists. Well, minus the shoes and socks, obvious sunburn, and matching Hawaiian shirts. We went out to two delicious dinners and watched lots of Fixer Upper (Mike approves of this show, because Chip is funny and crazier than Mike). I even went to the make-up store and bought eyebrow stuff. It looks pretty good. Our July 4th was so wonderful with parade, fun food, friends and fireworks. Needless to say the week went fast and we all woke up "late" for chemo this am. I am able to go to chemo anytime before 1pm but as we have learned if you don't get there early you may not get a chair and then have to wait until someone leaves. I'm starting to know more people than less. One patient we saw today had 2 breast cancer tumors (they weren't the same type, but 1 is the same as mine) and another cancer that the doctors can't figure out what it is. All stage 3 or 4. Doctors told her she had 3 months to live, once in 2015 and another last December. Now she's in remission. She said today (imagine southern accent) "Doctors told me I had 3 months left to live, twice. But I refused. I'm still here. They can't account for a higher power." There is always someone whose suffereing is greater than our own. Goodness, she was such an inspiration to me. Still praising God after such pain. Philippians 4:4 "Rejoyce in the Lord always, again I say rejoyce!" What I Know God is Good Our anniversary weekend away and July 4th celebration was amazing I'm starting to use my fancy camera more, stay tuned for examples #hawaiianbackdrop What made yesterday feel normal Red/white/blue pancakes, parade, frozen bananas, water balloons, glow sticks and fireworks on the beach (see pics below) Praises Good appetite I now know what it is like to suffer, in God's name. I am grateful to be able to share this with other families in pain and grief (see prayer requests). Prayer Requests Better sleep on chemo night (last week was up til 4am) #badcaseofthethursdays Continued digestion on/off trouble Cold/cough to be healed I have 2 prayer requests for other people... ~Prayers for our church youth pastor Pete and his wife Liz. Pete fell 30 feet while trimming a tree visiting his dad in Colorado. He should fully recover, but he's has a TBI, broken skull, and now fused vertebrate. Liz is with him, but their boys are still here in Hawaii. Pray for family as well as ability to eat, breathing, pain, and blood clots. ~Another is for a friend of a friend. Family here in Hawaii, mom delivered 30 week term baby girl but the baby passed away. Prayers for mom, dad, and big (2) sister. Shout Out Taylor for wonderful meal tonight Mom, Allie and Daniel for thoughtful anniversary lunch Aloha Much aloha~Nikki Mike here..... 10 years ago Nikki and I took a vow to cherish each other, to put our spouses needs ahead of us, to love each other no matter what the circumstances- in sickness and in health. Over the last few months that phrase of our marriage vows has taken a much deeper and richer meaning than ever before. Its in these reflective moments that God is able to confirm his sovereignty, to show you the "method to his madness". After all, had we never experienced cancer, we'd have never fully understood what this phrase means.
I'm so thankful that Nikki's health situation has allowed us to grow even closer as a couple, a team. Looking back over some of the cards we sent each together, the love notes we exchanged when we were dating, the pictures of us together when I had more hair, I'm filled with uncontrollable joy. The Lord has blessed with me with an amazing, strong, caring friend who puts others needs ahead of hers. Who, despite her circumstances, seeks ways to glorify her creator. Before she even met me she wrote a series of letters to her future husband, one particular sentence stuck out to me... "I know that God will put us together when we are supposed to come together. I am trying so hard to let God show me the way and allow me to trust him completely." Even then, she was seeking Gods will in our marriage, and that has been the corenterstone to our relationship. Nikki, thanks so much for being the Godly woman described in Proverbs 31, you are my rock, my joy, my best friend. Love, Mike |
Archives
November 2019
Categories |