As many of you know I participated in the Komen 3 Day last weekend. I wanted to write and say "thank you" to all of you who supported me, whether in donations or prayers. I also tell you about what an amazing experience it was. The Komen 3 Day is a walk to fundraise for the Susan G. Komen foundation. The walk is 20 miles each day for three days. Each walker who registers has to raise a minimum of $2,300. I heard about the a year and a half ago but was unable to train for it. Then, this last July, the idea came to me again. 60 miles in 3 days is no cake walk, so I called the person I knew who would say "YES" to do it with me. My friend Erin, who I have known since 4th grade. We registered together in July and called our team, "Pinkaloha." I started the 16 week training guide in August and kept up with it, only missing a couple days. It was long and hard but I kept at it because I really did want to finish all three days. Initially, I signed up because I wanted something to do to motivate me to exercise consistently. As time progressed I began to realize what an opportunity this would be to meet other people affected by breast cancer, and share my own story. Day 1 The first day of the walk started at the Del Mar Fair Grounds. Tables with buttons and lanyards were everywhere and there was an amazing excitement in the air. Opening ceremonies began and while it is a fun and exciting time, there wasn't a dry eye in the lot when the mom shared about losing her daughter, and the young girl losing her mother. It took a while to get going but we finally were on the road around 8am. Every three to four miles we came to a "pit stop" with bathrooms, food and water. I never was so pampered on a walk in my life! This pampering continued all three days. At some point during day one I realized I had my pants on inside out because I couldn't find my pockets. Suits me right for getting dressed in the dark! Our walk crossed the Del Mar dog beach, into Torrey Pines and we had lunch at La Jolla Shores. As we passed through the city of Del Mar the shops and businesses handed out candy, treats, stickers and had cheerleaders greeting us. It was amazing. We continued after lunch, and ended our 10 hour day in the camp at Crown Point. We found Mike with our luggage and went through the finish line with suitcases and sleeping bags in tow. Hot shower, catered dinner and trail mix bar were some of the highlights of the night. The police department volunteered on their days off to ride along side us on their bikes. They danced the Cupid Shuffle while we ate dinner. We setup our "pink" tent and Erin brought lights and aloha decorations. Praise the Lord neither of us had one blister from the day. Day 2 Awake bright and early we went to get breakfast and met a lady, Kristin in the line who was there by herself. She had committed to walk for her best friend, who was diagnosed earlier this year. We invited her to sit with us for breakfast and we hit it off right away. Afterwards we found Kristin's new friend Diane who she had met on Day 1. The four of us ended up walking every step together of Day 2 and 3. Day two led us through Mission Bay, Sunset Cliffs, Sea World and Pacific Beach. Day 2 took us a little less than 9 hours. We headed straight to the massage tent afterwards to get one of their coveted massage chairs. We were turned away and told to come back later. After showers, we returned and again were turned away. Two women overheard us and convinced us to take their three tickets in line. We finally agreed and were called up the very next three numbers. It was amazing, and we attribute those massages to getting our muscles through Day 3. After dinner we lit candles in honor of those going through breast cancer. Day 3 Our last day we packed up our camp (I got to keep the pink tent) and ate breakfast and got in the line to start the day. It was the hottest day yet. The four of us headed out together and walked through Crown Point, Mission Bay, Old Town, Mission Hills, Balboa Park, Little Italy and ended in Downtown. We had Erin's mom, Mike and Mike's mom join us downtown and walk us to the end. At the finish line we walked along the grass and through a large inflatable pink tunnel. Medals, shirts, flowers all were given to us as gifts. We waited for the last walker to arrive and then the crew and volunteers lined up with Breast Cancer survivors behind them. The crowd made a tunnel or path for all of us to walk down, while each person raising a shoe in honor of us survivors. I am not someone who likes being in the spotlight but I did walk down and experience seeing all those shoes raised. It was such an honor and privilege. I will remember it always. This experience was unlike any other. I now understand why men and women come back year after year. The community felt at this event was truly something special. 1 in 8 women are diagnosed every, we even had a family friend diagnosed the night before the walk started. I walked with 8 yarn leis around my neck honoring the family friends I know who have been diagnosed. My heart broke for those families along the way who were walking in memory of someone. Including a young woman named Kate who was diagnosed with Stage IV triple negative (same type as me) at age 25. She passed away at age 27. I am humbled that only two years after finishing 10 months of treatment I was able to walk 60 miles in three days. It really is a miracle. A walking miracle. To God be the glory.
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We had a weekend away last weekend in Dana Point to celebrate our 12th anniversary. We had yummy dinners out, slept in and took a nice hike. We had a lot of time to reflect and talk about the future. Mike is set to retire in June of 2020. As our time in the military comes to an end we are excited about our next chapter. God is working in us to build a community around health and wellness. Although we don't know what the details of that looks like we know that we can't wait to see how God uses us.
What I Know -God is good -After Mike retires we are planning to take a year long trip around the country in an R.V. with our kids. -Our plan is to visit areas where we have family and friends -We are going to homeschool our kids in the R.V. And yes, we are still waiting/hopeful for an adoption this year. You might be thinking, "that's crazy!" or maybe "that's awesome!" So we've come up with a name for our idea, called "Loconani." "Loco" means "crazy" in Spanish. "Nani" means "beautiful" in Hawaiian. Loco has been Mike's nickname since high school. Nani has been the nickname Mike gave me when we started dating. Together, Loconani is Crazy Beautiful. -We are planning to buy a travel trailer -We do not have the trailer yet (if you know of a travel trailer for sale with bunk beds hit us up!) -We plan to rent out our house in San Diego for a year -Mike and I will both be doing different jobs along the trip to help with our finances What I Don't Know -Our exact date of when we will leave on the trip -Our exact route and places we will stop on the trip Why Since my cancer diagnosis our marriage has only grown stronger and deeper. God has done a work on us as individuals and as a couple. We have talked so much about being unique, living with less and being intentional with our lives. We are going to use this trip as a way to see friends and family but also to learn. Learn about God's creation and also about people and how they live. We also want to teach about healthy living and see how God can use our story and experience. How How'd we come up with such an idea?! Well God has been hinting at us for a while now, but we it all started after we watched the documentary "Given." It is about a man and his wife who take their young son all around the world on a surfing tour. As much as that would appeal to Mike our family wouldn't take to a year long trip watching him surf. From this idea though we started talking about taking the kids on a long trip to see the country. Since then it has changed and morphed at least a dozen times. Our goal now is to use the trip as a "Year of Jubilee (see Leviticus 25:10)." A season of sabbath, learning, teaching and joy as we travel to see all of our family and friends along the way. Now What? Loconani is coming to a city near you!! Please let us know where you'll be next year, we'd love to see as many people as possible along our journey. Much aloha, Mike & Nikki Well it has been such a long time in writing. This last week was a doozy. I felt like it deserved a blog. I was hospitalized for three days for a UTI that spread to my kidneys. We were in the L.A. area for a long visit with Mike's brother, my sister-in-law and their four kids. We haven't seen them in over two years #navylife. I had been diagnosed with a UTI June 2nd and finished my meds a week later. On Father's Day afternoon I started with chills, fever and fatigue. Things progressed downhill from there and Monday we went into the hospital as I could tell things were not getting better. We waited two hours in the waiting room, made it to the ER triage then finally landed a bed in the ER. The Dr. convinced me to spend the night which ended up being three nights. The UTI was back, with a vengeance. Needless to say this hospital stay was quite the experience. To start, I had a lymph node removed as part of my lumpectomy which meant I am not supposed to have anything done to my right arm. No IVs, blood draws, blood pressure, etc. However, an IV was put in my right arm without me thinking, and so my hand started to swell up like an exam glove balloon. It took 5 nurses and I think 8 tries to get the IV started in my left arm #humanpincushion I was hot, weak, shaking, in pain and nauseous on and off for the first three days. I was miserable. I missed our Father's Day pool party, we had to cancel a trip to Knott's Berry Farm with the kids and I missed my nephew's 10th birthday party not to mention all the time visiting with our family. I was continually asking the Lord for healing and why I was in such a familiar situation again, feeling awful and missing out on seeing our family. Sometime after being discharged I was reflecting on all of this and realized..."but I have LIFE." God has chosen to spare me again. To walk me through fire again. I may have missed a few events last week but God has given me life. His plans are mighty whilst ours aren't. As painful as circumstances maybe, Job says in 42:2 "I know that you can do all things, and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted."
What I Know -God is good -I was originally diagnosed with a UTI June 2nd, started antibiotics and finished them June 9th -Hospital food needs an overhaul #idonotknowwhatthosearebuttheyarenoteggs -I wasn't able to shower for 5 DAYS. I cried the first time that water hit my face on Thursday night. -essential oils played a vital role in my healing What I Don't Know How I got the original UTI For Laughs A mentally ill patient was staying in a room three doors down. She was often yelling, well more like screaming. Sometimes she was upset, other times angry. At one particular moment, my nurse Trish (from Texas) was in my room when she yelled... Mentally ill patient: "What the #@%?!!!" Trish (read with a Texan accent): "I'm so sorry you have to hear this foul mouth, I'm guessin you haven't been around a lot of sailors before." Me: (laughing) "My husband is one." Trish: "Yea but he's not cursin at home." Me: "You're right, but his friends sure do." Praises As of today I am clear of an infection and don't have anymore symptoms Prayer Requests In an attempt to find the source of my infection, many scans were performed while I was in the hospital. Consequently, they found an ovarian cyst and a nodule on my lung. Please pray for clear follow-ups and scans for cyst and nodule. My emotional health, going through a health trial again has been no small feat for my heart and mind Shout Out Mike for never leaving me, sleeping in the corner in two chairs and eating my hospital "food" for me My parents for shuttling kids to and fro all week, and coming to visit me in the hospital My In laws for caring for the kids all week My sister for the kale soup and groceries Much aloha~ Part of what I feel like God was teaching me this week is to start writing again. In order to do that I will be on social media less, but write more often. I look forward to what God wants to say. ~Nikki I don't know about you but sometimes the hardest gifts to think of are what I call the "outliers." The teachers, family friends, pastors etc. Often those who provide us a service year-round. There also tends to be a lot of them. I wanted something I could duplicate. This year I decided to reduce the candy, cookies and cakes and go with a hearty meal as my gift. I am calling it "A Bag O' Chili." It doesn't break the bank either. Mine worked out to be less than $10 a bag. I found the white canvas bags at Michael's on Thanksgiving clearance. Two nights ago me and my gang sorted out beans, tomatoes and pumpkin (yes pumpkin) into ten bags. We included all the ingredients minus the perishables. I'm hoping this is a winner, I know the recipe already is! Let me know if you try it! A big thanks to my sweet friend Christina who I gave me this original recipe. Health overview Pumpkin: Fiber and creamyness Beans: fiber and protein Shallots and garlic: anti-cancer properties Red pepper: vitamin C Cacao powder: antioxidants Cozy Pumpkin Chili By: Nicole Uyboco (adapted from Nixon Family Recipe) Servings: 6-8 people Gluten Free - Dairy Free- Vegan (meat omitted) Ingredients 1-2 Tbsp olive oil 1 lb ground organic turkey or grass fed beef (optional) 1 organic red bell pepper, diced 1 medium shallot, diced fine 2 cloves garlic, minced 30oz organic diced tomatoes 1 15oz can organic black beans 1 15oz can organic adzuki beans 1 15oz can organic lentils 2/3 cup organic pureed pumpkin 2 Tbsp chili powder 1 Tbsp cacao powder 1 Tbsp coconut sugar or maple syrup 1 tsp turmeric 1 tsp cumin 1-2 tsp sea salt 1 tsp pepper Directions
Is it possible to miss a place when you haven't left yet? It is the night before our flight to the mainland and I am filled with thousands of words but also speechless.
When we first arrived all I wanted to do was go home. It was hot (really hot), I was pregnant and we only knew one family here. I kept repeating to myself, "It's only 2 years, it's only 2 years." The possibility of a third was daunting at the time. Only God knew what it would really be. Who we would become. Who we would now call family. Now, after 4 years it feels like it's been a lifetime. This island will always be the place where we were broken, but healed. And now forever changed. The best church family we have ever experienced. I am both crushed and full of joy now that the time has finally arrived for us to leave. Sad to leave all these beautiful people, the backdrop of the Ko'olau Mountains, the turquoise water and the songbirds. I've had this feeling before, the feeling of not wanting to leave community. Not just any community, but people apart of God's kingdom. Kingdom friends. It gives us a glimpse of Heaven. So maybe that's why it's so hard to leave. But sometimes we have to move. God calls us somewhere else. So we go. And I'm reminded that He creates community again wherever he leads. Although it might not be the same, there is hope because of what He's already done. Slowly we begin to have kingdom friends all over the world. So there's joy in the remembrance and the new. Joy in returning to family and other Kingdom friends. I am forever grateful for Kingdom friends we've loved here in Hawaii. You hold such a special place in my heart. A Hui Hou (Until we meet again). Everything Must Go! 9 suitcases, 5 carryons and 2 carseats Move mistake #1: forgetting to take out the car title before it was packed up, this resulted in a last minute adventure to the DMV so we could ship our van. #blogstoryforanotherday Move mistake #2: Not checking all the cabinets and drawers before the movers left. We now have pots and pans in our luggage! #notkidding A Hui Hou and much aloha~ Mike, Nikki, Allie & Daniel We are 8 days from moving back to California. This week we said good-bye to our Blue House Hawaii. I realized that the more memories you make in a home, in a community, the harder it is to leave it. Don't get me wrong this house had its quirks. Geckos, cockroaches (in the light switches and sinks), even centipedes occasionally. Mike had to put shades in the kitchen to prevent me from getting sunburned while making dinner. Cracks in the floors and walls. Sometimes it felt like we were camping. However, I don't think we understood the extent of our attachment to this house until it was time to say goodbye. I was pregnant when we arrived here (see pictures below of our first and last pictures with the house), we brought Daniel home to this house. It's the only house he's known. Even now as we are "hotel living" he's asked to go home a few times. This house gave us a home during Mike's deployment. And this is the house I got the phone call from my doctor with my diagnosis. This is the home where I rested and healed. We were served dozens of meals, laundry delivered and loved from every angle. God has been in the details from the beginning. This house has a separate master bedroom and bathroom which was a blessing for our family visiting for such long times last year. Our next door neighbors became family and our houses often functioned as one. Sharing food, children, tools etc. We often joked about removing the dilapidated fence that separated our yards. We held a small group in this house for the last 3 years almost every Sunday night with the max number of children being at 21 (for 7 families). That brings me to my next blessing, the backyard. The backyard was a huge blessing in that we were able to host our small group, hold parties and other playdates. It often was a place of respite from the heat inside the house. Every summer we spent most nights in the backyard. It felt like Hawaii. What I will Miss Most Our neighbors The dozens of Hawaiian birds outside waking me up every morning All the natural light in the house The backyard The sound of trade winds going thru the trees The rare times I was able to hear the waves crashing on the shore What I Won't Miss So Much Bugs, Geckos and Lizards Bugs again (if you've ever lived here you know it's worth mentioning twice) Heat (the oven is the archenemy of the Hawaiian summer) Never being able to keep my house clean (see camping and bug references above) Having to store pantry items in the fridge (see bug references above) We turned the keys over on Sunday, after saying a long good bye to the house, almost taking pictures in every room. We are forever grateful for God's provision in giving us Blue House Hawaii. It will forever mark the time we spent here. Although we are very sad to leave it, we will look back on it with such wonderful memories. God given walls, floors, rooms...not just a house but a home. Do you ever have days you wish you could fast forward? Today wasn't that day. Today was the day I needed slow motion. Today we had to say good-bye to some of the best friends we've ever known. Our next door neighbors are moving to Boise, ID just 3 weeks before we move to San Diego. Four years ago we met as next door neighbors, just like you always do when you move somewhere new. God must have been smiling that moment knowing what we didn't know. Knowing all that we would go thru and the friendship that would come out of it. He kept us next door to each other for 4 amazing years, and when I look back on this time in our life it will always have them in it. So much has been shared between us that my house feels more empty now that they're gone. Last week movers packed our homes on the same day. Today, we packed up 3 vans, 20 ish pieces of luggage, 7 kids, a dog and took them to the airport. And just like that, the day we all knew was coming came. We had to say good-bye. It grieves me. The ache of knowing that on this side of Heaven what we had here probably won't happen again. And yet, God is still good. God knew the friendships I would gain here and he knows my friendships yet to come. And surely we will have neighbors in Heaven...I already have mine. I got an email from an acquaintance (hi Angie!) a while back asking me what she could do to take care of those in her life who had cancer. I thought it was such a thoughtful idea, so I am finally writing out my thoughts. Please know this is from my personal experience and each person is different. What might have worked for me may not work for others. Please ask what people are comfortable with for their own healing.
Below are some ideas on how you can practically help someone going thru cancer (or any chronic illness) Meals: I know when someone is going thru something difficult we often want to help with bringing a meal. This is tremendously helpful. However, this is not the time to bring a five course dinner and or loads of junk food. Please follow all dietary recommendations expressed by the patient. Specifically those going thru chemo have lots of tummy troubles, and limitations. Also, try to bring food in disposable containers, tracking whose Tupperware is whose can become complicated. When in doubt offer a gift card or meal delivery service! Other practical ways of helping: Laundry (Janelle Wilburn did my laundry every week in April and May of 2017, I left it outside she picked it up and brought it back folded later that week such a servant. See pic below). Housecleaning Transportation: to and from appts or procedures Yard work: weeding, lawn mowing, etc. Grocery Shopping/cooking Childcare/carpool/playdates: For those patients with young children finding and organizing childcare becomes a job. Often patients don't get to select their appt times and so the dropping off/picking up routine is a lot. Offer to watch children at the patient's home or pick up the kids so the patient doesn't have to worry about getting them anywhere. Fun nights out (no cancer talk allowed): On the good days invite the patient over for dinner, or out to an activity and try and skip conversations about cancer. It's nice to talk about everyday things. Organization: organize a meal train, blog, childcare or transportation to/from appts Caregiver Respite: relieve the main caregiver and allow them to leave the house or go do other things for a few hours. The caregiver has to take on their regular duties and now the duties of the patient plus navigate a new medical world. It is A LOT of work. They need breaks often! Lastly, I'd like to comment on communication. Depending on how well you know the person will play a factor but you need to be more on the assertive side. Most people in general don't like asking for help. After a diagnosis, patients and caregivers are in the middle of emotions, appointments, physical limitations, stress. Use language like: "I'm coming to clean your house this week. What day/time should I come?" "I will be coming Saturday to mow the lawn." "I will be picking up Allie from school Thursday and bring her home before dinner." Tell them what you are going/willing to do and ask for dates and times. Avoid language like: How can I help? What can I do to help? Let me know how I can help. Picture someone in a hurricane and then yelling to them, "How can I help?!" It's hard to get an answer. Other things I benefitted from: ~Visitors in the hospital, especially on chemo days ~Visitors at home, on the days I was up for it. Sometimes our tendency is to want to "give them space" or "let them be" but honestly it was very isolating at times. I didn't go to church or activities nearly as much and so it was wonderful for people to come over, even with their kids. I loved the fellowship. ~Handmade blankets, care packages, flowers etc. Things I struggled with: ~People whispering about me while I was in the room ~People asking me about my treatment and then talking about their family members who passed away from cancer. ~Asking: "When will things be back to normal for you?" The answer is never. Normal is overrated. ~Receiving articles, research etc on anything cancer related that had to do with what treatments and or food I should or shouldn't do/eat. Ask first before sending. Remember the hurricane the patient is in? We want to take things out of the hurricane not throw things in. I hope this helps some of you and you care for your loved ones. You are so loved and helpful in a time of need. Much aloha~ Nikki I left my mark this week. I finally finished my chemo clinic ceiling tile. It's been a year people. You may remember my post last year entitled "The Tile Saga." It has been a long time coming. Wednesday added a little more drama as my tile would not fit in the first location nurse Josh attempted. We found another location, not in a central area but in the hallway less traveled. After finding a location I noticed the tile next to mine had a rainbow, and a verse from Isaiah 41. Mine has Isaiah 40. So clearly God had this spot in mind from the beginning. And I've now left my mark, it's in the ceiling in the hallway outside my doctor's office. If you are ever at Tripler you can go see it in the hallway outside the oncology doctor offices. OR if you are in the OBGYN clinic and you can go to the double doors by the restroom and peek thru the windows to see it. Don't forget either, wherever God has put you...leave your mark in His name.
What I Know God is good I saw my surgeon in March and have a clear mammogram and MRI! PRAISE I saw my oncologist this week. I was glad to hear about my 1/2 marathon but I told him about some of the after affects and he said, "Maybe a 1/4 marathon next time." Roger that Dr. B. We will be moving back to San Diego this summer #someofyouarecrying #someofyouarecheering I have started acupuncture treatments for my neuropathy I will have my port taken out this month What I Don't Know Why I didn't try acupuncture sooner, I woke up today with little pain in my feet! Prayer Requests I have been struggling with some sciatica in my right leg...prayers for this to subside Prayers for our transition back to the mainland. We have a growing list of things to do. Pray for our logistics and our hearts because although we will be close to family, our hearts break over leaving our church family here. We've been here in Hawaii almost 4 years. Shout Out Thank you to Shara and Emily for childcare this week Much aloha~ Nikki This last weekend was very special. I went to my church's women's retreat on the North Shore. This is my third year coming to the retreat. The first year I went I helped organize and plan. Last year, I was one week from starting chemo. This year I was the speaker for the weekend. This weekend brought about so many wonderful things I wish I could write it all out. This was the first time I spoke in front of people about my story. God provided so much for me to be able to carry out the message He wanted to tell. A friend and I were talking at the retreat about a conversation we had a year ago in the same place. She was also going thru a difficult time. Only God knew then what would happen a year later. Both our stories would show such redemption. I have been so blessed each year I've come. This year being a treasure that I will never forget. Many people have asked for audio transcripts of the sessions, we did tape them but the background noise is pretty bad so we're hoping to fix it. Stay tuned... Much aloha~ Nikki |
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