In December of 2016 I gifted Mike my entry into the Hapalua half marathon. Shortly after I was diagnosed with breast cancer. A year ago this week I had my first of 16 chemo treatments. If you told me in the chemo chair I would walk a 1/2 marathon in a year I would have cried. I wouldn't have believed it. God is so good friends. He can redeem the hardest places. We prayed for 13 different people affected by cancer, one at each mile. #mikesidea What I Know God is good My first half marathon! It has always been a goal of mine and I have been training for several weeks. My feet still have neuropathy and at about mile 6 they were screaming at me I have 4 blisters I fell asleep on the way home What I Don't Know Why this lady made her dog walk a half marathon! Why there weren't more bathrooms along the route #pitstop Shout Out Kaci/Price Ohana for watching our kids for the race To all of you who have and continued to pray for me. I am grateful and humbled. Thank you! Much aloha~ Nikki
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Thank you all for praying for me last week. I have felt your prayers. I had a mammogram and MRI on Wednesday. In true blog form I write again... What I know: God is good Both the Mammogram & MRI are clear of cancer. Please give thanks to God on my behalf! Going forward I may have the option of only having to do one test every 6 months and then alternate them After waiting a day and a half for the results I decided to call the office and ask. Glad I did. #pinsandneedlesherepeople I don't like poi I like haupia What made today normal We participated in Allie's 1st Grade Luau at school Daniel cried because I told him he couldn't flush the toilet a 2nd time Daniel asked me, "What's your name again?" Daniel told me, "I love your beautiful face." What I'm Reading The 7 Experiment: An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess by Jen Hatmaker Anti-Cancer: A New Way of Life by David Serven-Schreiber Reminders & Connections Last week was challenging. I had to go back to all the familiar places. The mammogram (I got my rose BTW) clinic and the hospital where I had my surgery. Lots of waiting again. I am also preparing for the women's retreat and so I've been rereading my blogs and writing a lot. It has been difficult to relive everything a year later. But as you know God met me in the hard spaces. I found him when it hurt the most. Going forward I will have to have mammograms and imaging done at least once a year. May those times remind me 1) what God has and is doing 2) that I use that time to further develop my trust in Him 3) to reflect on my life and make sure I am doing what God wants me to. I found out the results of my scans in the afternoon just before leaving to pick up Allie from school. As my good news settled over me while driving I was waiting at a stop light. I saw a friend drive across the intersection. Their adult son has a brain tumor. I ended up following their car all the way to school (our daughters both go to the same school). I prayed for them along the way. Friday their son went home to be with Jesus. God was reminding me. As scary as cancer is I have an amazing opportunity to connect with those who are suffering. I've also been praying for Dani Pratt this week as I posted last time. Friday night I "ran into" her at Costco. I am honored and humbled God has given me this ability to empathize with those hurting. Upon my initial diagnosis I wanted to know how long it would be before I could "get back to normal." Now I realize the flaw in my thinking. God is creating a new normal for me. I can't wait to see what he's got next. It won't be easy and comfortable along the way. BUT It will have joy. Hope you can join me. Much aloha~ Nikki Wow! This is the longest I've gone without an entry! I have an update/few prayer requests I want to share with you...
1) The reason I haven't been writing blog entries is because I have been preparing. Preparing for my church's women's' retreat. I have been asked to be the speaker for the weekend. It is going to be April 20-22. Please pray for my preparation, that I hear God's voice, that my nerves are calmed and lives are changed. I am very honored and humbled to be asked. I have made good progress on writing and am getting more excited about sharing what God has done and taught me. I am hoping to post my notes on the blog after the retreat. 2) I saw my surgeon this morning in "that room" and after my physical exam she said, "you passed!" Praise God! My mammogram is scheduled for Wednesday and we are waiting on clearance for the MRI. All of the emotions and fears have been brought to the surface. I am having good and bad moments of fear leading up to the appointments and scans. I know and trust God is good, however sometimes fear creeps in. Prayers against this, of course I am praying for clear scans, but I am also praying for peace and contentment in any circumstance. Prayers again...thank you~ 3) I was told about Danielle Pratt and her family today and their long list of health concerns. Please pray leaps and bound for them. www.beautyfullmess.com/ Much aloha to all of you~ Nikki I had to write about today's God wink story...about earrings. Yes, earrings. My friend Christina sent me these earrings at the end of my treatment. However, they got lost in the mail. I got a replacement sent right away but then last week the original ones made it to me in the mail. So then I had two pairs. Christina called them, "giftables" and so I left them on my counter and prayed about who to give them to.
My friend Taylor's name kept coming to mind. She is the wife of our music pastor. She recently returned from a missions trip to Uganda with our church. As I was thinking of giving these earrings to her I remembered that all the jewelry from Noonday Collection is made all over the world. I thought, "Oh maybe the earrings were made in Africa?!" Since that's where Taylor went on her missions trip. I pull out the earrings and see, "Style made with love in Uganda." I start to tear up. Not only Africa, but Uganda. I pulled myself together write this all out in a card to her and put the earrings inside knowing God means for her to have them. There's more. I took the earrings over today and later received the rest of the story. Taylor told me that while she was in Uganda her favorite, everyday earrings broke. She's been trying to find a new pair since. She was shopping for some last night. No amount of emojis can express the joy shared between us today. It is such a privilege to be used by God amen? Friends, God cares for you. He sees you. In the smallest of details He is there. My cup runneth over today. Thank you Jesus. Tomorrow is my cancerversary. January 27th. One year ago was my diagnosis date. In some ways it feels like 10 years ago. We've come through a long year. God has been with us every day of it. I thank many of you for coming along side us and physically helping us, and many around the world continually praying. I have mixed emotions about this anniversary. On one hand it brings up everything again. On the other hand I am a completely different person than I was a year ago. I'm not talking about my haircut either. God changed my way of thinking about the world and my place in it. I am excited to see how He uses my experience to show others His love, grace and mercy. I am excited to show others what He's done. I'm honored to be able to be used by Him. So, 2018 we shall see what God has in store.
What I Know God is good I see my surgeon on March 15th for my follow-up. I will have images taken again and then see my oncologist after picture day. I've signed up for an 8 mile race in February I've signed up for my first 1/2 Marathon on April 8th I need to make an emergency kit #hepushedthewrongbutton What I Don't Know We have a new juicer! I don't know what to make next. I've mastered carrot orange juice. #drinkyourveggies What Made Today Normal Scooters and chalk in the driveway Praises Praise HIM for the year the Lord has brought us through! We thank Him for all that he has done for our marriage, spiritual growth and for healing only Jehovah Rapha can bring. Praises for: energy levels are up, healed skin from radiation and lots of hair! Prayer Requests ~Allie girl is recovering from flu/pneumonia this week. She's in good spirits and today is fever free. Please pray she is well enough for her birthday party on Saturday. ~I still have neuropathy in my toes. Juli Update My freighbor (friend/neighbor) Juli had a double mastectomy just before Christmas. You can read her full update here http://nothingromans8.wordpress.com/ Aloha Much aloha~Nikki Many of you heard that on January 13th we all were sent an "Incoming Missle: Take Cover" message that turned out to be a false alarm. I looked at the message and asked Mike, "What do we do?!" He was a sceptic of it from the beginning but told me to pray. I took shelter with the kids in Allie's room which is the most central part of the house with only a very small window. She kept pestering me until I told her why we all had invaded her room. She was frightened but was mainly concerned about her lunch and TV program capabilities. Daniel announced, "I'm not scared!" 3 year old ignorance is a beautiful thing.
I prayed and prayed. Mike was able to find out from work fairly quickly it was a mistake. After it was over I was pretty shaken but went on a 5 mile walk. Lots of time to think and pray. When your life is threatened you realize very quickly what matters and what doesn't. I realized a few things. God is the Same God Wether you pray about cancer or incoming missiles He remains the same. It is so grounding to know that He remains the same in the midst of crisis. As I prayed during those tense 38 minutes I took comfort in the fact that I was praying to the same God that cured me. God is Always There Biopsies, divorce, or taking cover you don't have to go anywhere to reach out. He's available 24/7 in the smallest of spaces. God's Plan Often Doesn't Look Like Ours If we had the choice we would never choose to go through pain or suffering. Unfortunately they are apart of this world. Often we try really hard to prevent suffering for ourselves and those we love. I tried so hard to shelter Allie from the truth. However, she's a mini investigative reporter and asks questions all the life long day. I had to tell her the truth. She thought the 'bad guy' was going to come into the house. It was a moment for me to realize that God's plan will not be thwarted. We will have trial and suffering. Our goal should be 1 Thess 5: 16-18. Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in ALL circumstances; hard but true! I am thankful for the Lord's protection and that this was a false alarm. I was thankful for a very level headed husband and an ignorant 3 year old. We don't know how much time we have on this earth. I am vowing not to waste mine. I ask you to do the same. Have you heard of the idea of a "Word for the Year?" It's the idea that you have one word as a for the year. This can be your theme of 2018 so to speak. You can use it to center your devotions, prayer and meditations. Friends of mine did this last year but I never have until now. I started praying about this and was asking God to give me my word for 2018. I first I came up with "renew" but then I went to yoga. My yoga instructor used an app called "Abide" for our meditation. I new that was it. So my word for 2018 is abide.
The English definition isn't what I'm talking about. AKA 'abide by the rules' is not what I'm referring to. John 15 is where it's at. Verse 4, "Abide in me, and I in you..." Abide is used 10 times in this chapter. The meaning of Abide here is from the Greek word "Meno." Which means, to stay, dwell, remain, be true to, persevere and remain beside or near (from http://www.make-my-christian-life-work.com/abide.html). This is what I want for 2018. To remain beside or near Christ as much as possible. 2017 I needed him so very much. I prayed a lot. I had daily prayer last fall during my radiation treatment. The more I read, prayed and listened the more I grew. I want this to continue. So abide here I come. Mary vs. Martha: Raise your hand if you're a Martha? I am raising both hands. From what it sounds like in Luke 10 Mary had an abiding heart. So what about us Marthas? vs. 41 "Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, 42 but few things are needed—or indeed only one.[a] Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” My plan to look more Mary-ish: ~I am using the "First 5" app to read scripture every morning. This is how I plan to get myself in the Bible each day. They are studying 1-2 Kings now thru March. If you register on that app I have started a group called, "Indeed Only One." In the passage from Luke above Jesus tells Martha, "but few things are needed-indeed only one " (i.e. sitting at his feet). You can search for me by name and and then I can add you to the group. We can all study the same thing together! ~I also downloaded the app my yoga teacher used "Abide" and hope to use this daily. This is a Christian meditation app. There are several meditations short and long. My favorite part is that you select the category or topic of meditation for what you need that day. ~I will continue with both a small group study on Sunday nights and a Mom's study on Tuesday mornings ~I set an alarm on my phone for 12:20pm every week day. This is in remembrance of Praydiation. My daily prayer time during my radiation treatment. Force yourself to stop and pray! The hardest part is staying consistent and making all of this a habit. Some days will work and others won't. I pray that my desire is Abide. What about you? Do you have a word for 2018? I'd love to hear it! If not, pray about it and see what He gives you. Much aloha~Nikki Unspoken Love is an idea Mike thought of even before cancer. It is the idea of writing letters (i.e. in paper, cards, envelopes and stamps). Very retro. Writing a card or letter can mean the world to someone wether you write 3 or 300 words.
We have come up with some categories to help generate ideas... Rejoice: Writing to someone who is in a season of celebration Romans 12:15 "Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn." Congratulations for new baby, marriage, job or completion of chemotherapy! Reconnect: Writing to someone you haven't talked to in a while OR you want to share a memory with Philippians 1:3 "I thank my God every time I remember you." "I remember when..." "I loved when we..." Reassure: Writing to someone who needs encouragement; big or small. 1 Thessalonians 5:11"Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing." Everyone needs encouragement in their life. Whatever the situation, you can build someone up with paper, ink and a stamp. Who do you know that needs a little love in their mailbox? Reconcile: Writing to apologize 1 Peter 5:6 "Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time." Do you need to apologize to someone? "I'm sorry" is never easy. Humility at it's finest. Sometimes writing what we need to say is easier then saying it. Consider writing an apology note, and see what God does in and thru you. Gratitude: (I couldn't think of a synonym that started with"re") Writing to say, "Thank you." Luke 17:15-16 "One of them, when he saw he was healed, came back, praising God in a loud voice. He threw himself at Jesus’ feet and thanked him—and he was a Samaritan." Whatever your circumstances, you can say thank you to God and someone else. Think of an unsung hero in your life that deserves a thank you note. I write all this to encourage you to think outside your email and write someone a letter. It doesn't have to be 3 pages, it can just be a single bible verse. One sentence of encouragement could be all a person needs! I have started a project for 2018 called the "Envelop.e Project." Read the details here, I'd love for you to join me at anytime~ Much aloha~Nikki Today our Allie turns 7. Yes 7. Her latest report card described her as having a "vivacious personality." Truly, that is enough said. She lives and breaths being with people. Lots of people. She is caring and daring. Born on Christmas Eve, she's the best Christmas present I'll ever receive. What I Know God is good Allie is creative Allis is smart Allie can duck dive ocean waves Allie is a shredder Allie is a great big sister Allie would cartwheel from room to room if it was up to her (She's chipped teeth multiple times). What I Don't Know What Allie will do when she grows up #trampolinedeveloper Other Allie's Favorite Activities (direct quotes) Jumping on trampolines (she gave me this response AFTER I wrote the # above) Swimming in warm water Allie's Favorite things Paw Patrol toys Christmas Snow globes Allie's Fav food Shaved Ice Apples w/ PB Allie's best friend (s) Eliana, Noe, Kai, Erik, Destiny, Riley and Hayley (remember what I said about being a people person?) Nicknames AG, Allie Girl, Allie Aloha~ Happy Birthday to our Allie Girl. You bring excitement, energy and passion to the every day and ordinary. We love how you love us and others. We are thrilled to watch you learn, grow and mature into such a beautiful young lady. We love you Allie girl! This is a picture of Juli, Shara and I. The three of us are very close friends. Juli is wearing sunglasses. Below is my attempt at an Ann Voskamp style of writing, in response to Juli's diagnosis.
On the Other Side of the Fence I know how she feels on the other side of the fence. I know how it is when the doctor calls you on a Friday and tells you that lump you found is green. It comes with thousands of questions that return with only a handful of answers. Then answers come with 1000 questions more. The tears, the ugly, the fear and the fatigue. And the waiting. The kind of waiting that watches sand fall from an hourglass one grain at a time. Now she knows on the other side of the fence. She, is my neighbor and friend but really she should be called sister. I knew the day would come when I would carry another on this same path, but her? And now? My skin is still peeling and my hair is pixie-like. She saw me on my good days, she saw me on my 'just ok' days, but she saw me on my darkest day when no one else did. Why did she see me and now it has to be her? She has calloused knees for all the prayers she has said over me. She has fed, bathed, clothed and driven the joy-bringers countless times. They call her "Auntie." She has carried us through since last winter. Now we will carry her on the other side of the fence. When I was about to leave my own valley the way out looked steep and dark. The forward way unclear. Embarking I climbed slow. Even fatigue and pain become familiar and I didn't know how to reach the top of my mountain. Steps were attempted but my footing slipped because I saw her falling. Now I'm back in the valley, but it's hers not mine. The Creator must know it's easier to follow when someone makes a way for you. Even the Lamb had the way prepared for him by the man who ate locust and honey. Now I can help her navigate the valley and show her how the Helper will meet her there. He will show me how to reach my mountain, and her too- on the other side of the fence. |
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